Secret Love
by ArdainMatsudo
Summary: Ardain must travel to the world of the living to save her captain, but something unexpected happens. She begins to fall for her zanpakuto after it mysteriously begins to take a human form. After hearing about a mysterious story, they decide to sever the bond between them so Amagumo can be free, even if it means Ardain will lose everything.
1. Chapter 1

I sigh and brush my silver hair away from my face as I watch the sun escape behind the clouds through the window. I think of all the things I could be doing right now, like drinking sake with Captain Kyōraku, but instead I am cleaning the barracks.

"Ardain! Quit lolly-gaging and get to work! You have to patrol the Rukon district in an hour!" Nanao Ise is staring at me with her hands on her hips. "Between you and the Captain we will never get anything done around here!"

"Sorry Lieutenant Ise!" I quickly apologize and start sweeping again.

"Honestly Ardain! That's not how you sweep!" Nanao snatches the broom from me. "Just go and find the Captain for me! You should know where he is!" Nanao turns and starts to sweep.

"It looks like I was doing a better job then you," I mutter as I step out the door into the warm sunlight. I start off toward Captain Kyōraku's favorite hiding spot from Nanao in the Rukon District. There I find him sitting at a table with his back to me drinking sake as usual. "Hey Captain. Mind if I join you?" I stand behind the chair next to him.

"Of course! And what did i tell you about calling me captain when it's just us?"Shunsui Kyōraku hands me a drink as I sit down.

"Sorry. Old habit," I say, taking a sip of the sake.

"So, did Nanao give you a hard time again?" Shunsui asks, poring himself another glass of sake.

"Yes, but I'm not complaining to much. At least i'm getting to sit here and drink a little before patrol," I take another sip.

"If it was anyone else, I would ask them if it was such a good idea to be drinking before going out on patrol, but you can hold your alcohol as well as I can," Shunsui pores more sake into my empty glass and takes another sip of his own. "And that's saying something."

"I wonder who will be on patrol with me today?" I ask before downing the rest of my cup of sake.

"Actually, I'm going to be patrolling with you," Shunsui downs the rest of his sake too and stands up. "Come on. As much as I hate to say it, it's time to go on patrol." I get up and follow Shunsui through the winding streets of the Rukon District until we reach the most dangerous division in the Rukon District, Division 80, Zaraki.

"I wondered why you were on patrol with me... I never expected to be assigned to the most dangerous division in the Rukon District," I impulsively reach for my zanpakuto for comfort.

"Don't worry. Just keep your wits about you and you should be fine," Shunsui assures me after seeing my reaction to my surroundings. Suddenly, I feel a sudden spike of spiritual pressure coming from a little ways to the north of me.

"Captain!" I cry.

"I know. Just calm down Ardain and follow me," Shunsui starts running in the direction it was coming from. I follow and then stop as I look up at a Menos Grande that is smashing Division 80 to bits. I desperately looked around for Shunsui and spot him as he is sent flying into the nearest building after a failed attempt at attacking the Menos.

"Captain!" Suddenly I'm not scared anymore as adrenaline rushes through me and I start running at the Menos. I reach down and unsheathe my zanpakuto. "Whisper Amagumo!" My normal looking zanpakuto shimmers and changes to a thin cloud grey blade that blurs if you try to look straight at it. I jump into the air and use flash step to run across the buildings that weren't destroyed. Finally, I reach the Menos Grande and attack. The Menos looks down at me and readies a cero.

"Look out, Ardain!" Shunsui cries from where he has fallen. I look up but can't move. Somehow my foot has gotten stuck in a pile of rubble. I look at Shunsui with terrified eyes as the cero hits me point blank.


	2. Chapter 2

"Come on Ardain! Open your eyes!" I hear Captain Kyōraku's voice but can't see him. All I see is darkness.

I know something has happened, but I can't remember what. "Oh well. I guess it wasn't anything important," I think to myself. I continue to stare into the darkness until I hear another voice.

"Ardain... Wake up, Ardain..." I know I have heard that voice before, but where? And who? Then it hits me.

"Amagumo!" I sit upright in a warm, safe bed in the Fourth Division barracks.

"Whoa! Be calm and lay back down," Shunsui pushes me back down into the bed. "She's awake Captain Unohana," he calls behind him.

"That's good. That means she out of danger," Retsu Unohana walks into the room carrying a bowl of Domburi with Onigiri on the side, a glass of water, and a pair of chopsticks. "Eat up and get your strength back," Captain Unohana hands me the bowl and chopsticks after I sit up in bed and get situated.

"Thank you," I take a bite of Domburi then I look at Shunsui. "What happened after I was hit with the cero?" I take a bite of Onigiri.

"After you were hit with the cero, Captain Kuchiki showed up with Lieutenant Abarai and told me to go ahead and bring you to Captain Unohana. When I got you here, you were in pretty bad shape. We didn't think you were going to make it. I'm sorry Ardain. I should have told you to go get help as soon as I saw the Menos, but I got to ahead of myself and forgot that you were not yet strong enough to help me defeat it," Shunsui looks down at the floor.

"I wouldn't have left you to face that thing by yourself even if you ordered me to. I couldn't have left you..." I take another mouthful of Onigiri then drink deeply from the glass of water. Shunsui smiles.

"I should have known you were going to say that. Your a very courageous girl," Shunsui pats my head as he turns to Captain Unohana. "Take good care of her for me."

"Don't worry. I will," Captain Unohana smiles.

"I have to get back to Nanao before she panics and comes looking for me," Shunsui pats my head one last time and then waves as he walks out the door.

I stretch. "When can I get out of bed Captain?"

"Wait one more day so we can make sure your all right," Captain Unohana smiles at me. "By the way you have some visitors." Captain Unohana takes my empty plate and leaves the room. A few minutes later, Captain Byakuya Kuchiki and Lieutenant Renji Abarai comes through the door.

"How are you feeling?" Renji plops down in the chair next to the bed.

"Actually I'm ready to get up and start moving," I assure them.

Byakuya looks at me with doubt on his face. "I don't think your as healed as you think you are after the hit you took from that cero."

"Seriously, guys! I'm fine," I drain the rest of my water.

"You were asleep for a week. We were surprised you even made it here. You were so far gone we didn't think you were going to live," Renji explains.

"I was out of it for a week?" I look at the empty glass in my hand.

"We didn't mean to upset you. We just want you to take it easy for a little while," Captain Kuchiki looks out the window on the wall beside the bed.

"Ok. I guess I can do that," I sit the glass down on the table beside me.

"Good. Now we will see you later. Come on Lieutenant Abarai," Captain Kuchiki leaves the room.

"See ya Ardain," Renji waves as he follows his Captain out the door.

"I really wish people would quit treating me like that. Ever since I escaped from Wako Mundo and the Arrancars they've treated me like I could break at any given second," I mutter to myself as I lay down and watch the sky outside the window. After a while I fall asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

I awake early the next morning with the sun shining in my face and sweat glistening on my forehead. I just woke up from a nightmare about when I was trapped in Wako Mundo.

I glance beside me and look into Shunsui's face. He is leaning on the chair arm asleep. He has dark lines under his eyes. I heard him come in last night just before I fell asleep. I stretch and slide out of bed. I try not to awake the sleeping man in the chair beside me, but fail miserably.

"I see you're feeling better," Shunsui says as he sits up and rubs the sleep from his eyes.

"Well you look like crap. No offense," I look down at myself then look at Shunsui again. "And I probably do too."

"Well I know I feel like crap. I bet Nanao will be pissed when she sees me like this," Shunsui looks out the window at the sunrise.

"You know what? I could use a bath. I wonder if Captain Unohana will let me go yet," I tell him and start to go out the door to find the Captain. Suddenly, Hanatarō Yamada bumps into me coming in. I fall and Hanatarō lands on top of me.

"I'm so sorry Ms. Matsudo!" Hanatarō apologizes to me as he quickly climbs off of me and helps me to stand back up.

"Be careful there, Mr. Yamada. You'll break her again," Shunsui says as he pats Hanatarō on the back. I brush myself off and look at Shunsui.

"I'm tougher than that, Captain." I then turn to Hanatarō. "It's quite all right Hanatarō. It was my fault. I should have been watching where I was going," I assure him. "So, what are you doing in here, Hanatarō?"

"Captain Unohaha asked me to come in here and tell you that you can leave now," Hanatarō answers.

"Oh! Thank you Hanatarō! I was just going to ask her when i could leave," I smile.

"You're welcome, Ms. Matsudo. Now I must be goi-," Hanatarō's sentence is cut off.

"Hanotara! Come finish cleaning our bathrooms!" a man yells. Hanatarō cringes.

"Hanatarō, is that a Squad Eleven member?" I ask him, my eyes narrowed.

"Y-yes ma'am, but don't worry about it. We always get yelled at like that by them," Hanatarō's smile looks forced.

"Not today you don't," I growl as I march out the door towards where the voice is coming from.

"I have got to see this," Shunsui tells Hanatarō as he follows me. I find the man standing at the door. "We had better stay back here, Hanatarō," Shunsui grabs Hanatarō's sleeve and pulls him back into the shadow of the hallway.

"Who in the hell do you think your yelling at?" I get in the man's face.

The man's face flashes surprise and then anger. "Who do you think your yelling at? And where's Hanatarō?"

My temper rises and I lose it. I punch the guy in the face then take a defensive stance.

"Who the hell do you think you are, bitch?" the man raises his fist to hit me, but a big hand catches his.

"Fighting an injured lady isn't very nice. Why don't you fight me instead?" Kenpachi Zaraki grins.

"C-Captain! Sir! U-ummm I-" the man faints.

"Well, he wasn't any fun, was he Kenny?" Yachiru's voice comes from Kenpachi's shoulder.

"Hello Captain Zaraki and Lieutenant Kusajishi," I smile at them.

"We were just coming to see you to see how long it would be before you could fight Kenny again, Emerald!" Yachiru tells me.

'Yachiru has a thing about making nicknames up for people because she can't remember anyone's real name,' Ikkaku had once told me. Emerald was Yachiru's nickname for me because my eyes are the color of emeralds.

"It might be a little longer Lieutenant. I'm still stiff as a bored and I need to get back in shape. I've been out of commission for eight days," I tell her. "But, I'm really looking forward to fighting him again! It will be a really great way to train." I wasn't lying. I am actually the only person I know of that likes fighting Kenpachi. I don't know why but maybe it is because he doesn't go easy on me like everyone else does.

"Darn!" Yachiru whines.

"But at least your willing to fight me," Kenpachi grins. "By the way, why are Shunsui and that little guy from Squad Four hiding over there?"

"We didn't want to get in the way of the little fight Ardain was just in," Shunsui answers, stepping out of the shadows with Hanatarō hiding behind him. "Anyway, I probably need to get going before Nanao comes looking for me." Shunsui turns to me. "I'll inform her that you're to take a few days off," he tells me.

"But!" I start, but Shunsui interrupts me.

"Oh no you don't. No buts! Besides, it will give you a few days to train," he starts walking out the door.

"I guess we will be going to," Kenpachi moves out of the doorway so Shunsui can get through. "But get better soon, would you Ardain? I'm really itching for a fight." Kenpachi turns around and walks out the door.

"Bye Emerald!" I hear Yachiru yell.

"Well I might as well leave too. And you probably need to get back to work," I tell Hanatarō. "But don't let those Squad Eleven members push you around! If you have any more problems with them don't hesitate to ask for help."

"Don't worry, Ms. Matsudo. I'll be fine," Hanatarō promises me as I walk out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

I make my way to the bath house in the Rukon District with clean clothes in hand. Ever since I awoke from the darkness, all I can smell is blood and the unfamiliar odor of death.

"I can't wait to get into the nice hot bath," I say to myself. As I step through the door, a nice lady comes over to greet me. She shows me the way to the bath. As I step into the bath room, I get a face full of steam. Sweat drips from my face as I strip off my kimono and step into the bath. It is hot, but not so hot that it hurts me.

"Do you need anything else before I leave ma'am?" the lady who escorted me in asks.

"No, thank you," I say, taking the bar of soap from her. As the lady leaves, I begin to lather soap in my hair. "This is just what I needed," I tell myself as my muscles begin to relax. I rinse the soap from my hair and settle in to relax. Moments later, I awake to a face full of cold water. "What the hell?" I sputter.

"Sorry ma'am. I couldn't get you to wake up any other way. I thought you were going to drown," the kind lady from before explains.

"That's quite all right. Thank you for waking me," I tell her. As I slowly rise from the water, the lady hands me a towel.

"Thank you," I say as I begin to dry myself off. After I get dressed, I reach down to get my zanpakuto, but it isn't there. "Damn.. I left it in Squad Four's barracks," I tell myself. "Might as well go back and get it." As I leave the bath house, I sense an enormous amount of spiritual pressure coming from the Seireitei.

"Dammit!" I yell as I run for the Seireitei. I know this spiritual pressure. It is the Exequias, the group Arrancar that experimented on me. As I make my way to the south gate, I spot Rudbornn Chelute, the 61st Arrancar. Tossed over his shoulder, I see a figure wearing Shunsui's pink kimono.

"No! Let him go!" I yell at Rudbornn, running at him.

"You just made a huge mistake, little bird," he tells me as other Exequias surround me. "If you want him back, figure out about your life before you died. There you will find the answers to defeat me. Maybe." Rudbornn opens a path to Wako Mundo and disappears, his fellow Exequias following him.


	5. Chapter 5

I stand watching the spot where the Arrancar disappeared until Head Captain Yamamoto and Captain Jūshirō Ukitake appear in front of me. I wipe at my eyes and my hand comes back soaked in tears. I hadn't realized I had been crying.

"Ardain," Ukitake's soothing voice calms me. "What happened? Who did that spiritual pressure belong to?"

"It was the Exequias," I whisper, looking at Ukitake. "They took Shunsui."

"What?" Ukitake looks stunned.

"T-They took him to Wako Mundo," I sob. I fall to my knees and put my head in my hands.

"Ardain Matsudo! Stand up and explain what has happened here!" Yamamoto bellows with authority. I wipe my eyes and nose on my kimono sleeve and stand back up. My legs wobble and I begin to fall, but Ukitake catches me and I lean on him for support. I turn my gaze on Yamamoto.

"This morning, when I awoke in the Squad Four barracks, Captain Kyōraku ordered me to take a few days off. After I left, I went to the bath house in the Rukon District. While I was getting dressed, I realized I left my zanpakuto back in the Squad Four barracks," I stop and take a deep breath.

"Get to the point Ms. Matsudo," Yamamoto orders.

"When I left, I noticed a sudden spike in spiritual pressure coming from the Seireitei. I also noticed I knew whose spiritual pressure it was. I didn't think about whether I had my zanpakuto or not, I just ran for the Seireitei. When I got to the gate..." I stop to wipe my eyes and nose again. "When I got to the gate, i saw Rudbornn Chelute with Captain Kyōraku thrown over his shoulder. I tried to stop him, but the other Exequias got in my way. He told me I had to find out about my past life," I blink back more tears.

Suddenly, a Hell Butterfly appears by Yamamoto's shoulder. "I'm calling an emergency Captain's meeting! All Captains assemble immediately!" Yamamoto bellows. Then he turns to me. "You come too, Ms. Matsudo. You need to tell everyone what happened to Shunsui." I nod and let Ukitake guide me to the Captain's meeting.


	6. Chapter 6

"Are you sure that's everything?" Captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi asks me.

"Yes sir," I look down at my feet.

"These are the same Arrancar that took you, are they not?" Captain Soi Fon asks. I nod.

"So thats why you were so upset," Ukitake says.

"Yes... I just know they're going to do something horrible to Captain Kyōraku," I say sadly.

"Ardain Matsudo!" Head Captain Yamamoto bellows. "You stated that the Arrancar, Rudbornn Chelute, told you to find the secrets your past life held?"

"More or less, sir," I answer. "He told me it was the only way to save Captain Kyōraku."

"If what you tell me is the truth, I have no other choice but to send you to the world of the living and let you find the history of your past life," Yamamoto tells me. "This meeting is now over!"

As everyone starts leaving, Ukitake walks up to me. "I'll get the gate ready. You might want to go by Squad Four's barracks and get your zanpakuto," he tells me.

"I will. Where will I end up?" I ask him.

"Wherever your Hell Butterfly takes you," Ukitake says. I nod. Ukitake pats my shoulder, comforting me, then leaves. I leave as well and make my way to the Squad Four barracks. As I pass a group of Squad Eleven members, one of them steps in front of me and blocks my path.

"Where do you think your going, little bitch," he says. My eyes narrow as I look at his face. It is the same guy from earlier.

"Get out of my way, dumbass," I growl.

"I don't think so," he sneers as his friends surround me. I look around.

"Dammit!" I snarl. "I don't have time for this. Can't we do this another time?"

The guy shakes his head. "This time Captain Zaraki won't get in my way," he laughs, unsheathing his zanpakuto.

"Crap," I mutter. "Look guys, can't I at least go and get my zanpakuto?"

"No! If I let you go, you might run for help. And we don't want that," he smiles, then attacks. I look around, but there is no where to hide and nothing to shield myself with. I'm not very good at Kidō. I look back at him. He was already upon me so I have to act fast. I block the only way I can. With my arm.

"Dammit," I yowl as I fall to my knees from the blow.

"Just like a bitch," he laughs meanly.

'What am I going to do?' I think to myself. 'There's no way I can get away from this guy without a fight, and without my zanpakuto, I'm useless.'

Suddenly I hear a voice. "Ardain..." it whispers. I look around, but everyone else just looks at me with a snear on their face. 'They must not have heared it,' I think to myself. "Ardain..." the voice whispers again.

"Wait a second... I know this voice," I whisper. "Amagumo?"

"Yes Ardain... Call my name...," Amagumo whispers in my mind. I don't hesitate.

"Whisper Amagumo!" I yell to the sky.

"What are you going on about?" the man sneers. "Have you gone crazy?" Then, suddenly, something shimmers in the clouds.

"What was that?" one of the other men asks. I know that unmistakable shimmer. I reach my hand out and catch Amagumo in my hand.

"Now call your newly acquired Bankai!" Amagumo shouts in my mind.

"Bankai! Fly through the heavens and turn to mist, Haiiro Tsubasa!" I yell as I am enveloped in a gray mist.

"What the hell is going on?" the man yells at his friends. No one answers him. Instead they stare open mouthed at the wall of mist. I step through and the men all turn their attention to me. My Bankai has transformed me, but not as a regular Bankai should.

"What the hell are you?" the man whispers in awe. I flap my newly grown storm cloud gray wings as mist swirls around me.

"I'm a soul reaper!" I cry as I zoom towards him and hit him with my fist. As I swing my arm, the mist around me swirls around the men. Before anyone knows what's happening, the mist throws them into the wall surrounding us, knocking them out.

"I might actually have some trouble fighting you now," a voice says behind me. I turn around and look into Kenpachi's face.

"You should keep better control of your men," I growl.

"I might would take you seriously if it weren't for the angel wings," he laughs. I smile.

"Don't take them so lightly. Anyway, how do you like my new look?" I say as I spin around in the air.

"All I can say is you better be stronger than you look," Kenpachi tells me.

"Don't you Amagumo on my side, I can't lose," I giggle as mist swirled around me then disappears, leaving me wingless. "I miss them already."

"By the way, I was supposed to tell you that the gate to the living world was ready," Kenpachi says.

"Oh! Then I had probably get going! Bye Captain Zaraki!" I wave as I hurriedly run for the gate.


End file.
